Magic(k) of the City

Being in the city has caused me to think about a great many things. One of those things has to do with personal things. The rest has to do with spiritual things. For the sake of blog continuity I refer to the spiritual aspects of city life. Moving has caused me to assess a lot of things; some of which is useful lol.

Growing up was a magical time for me. As a child, I understood that magic was all around me. I created it and weaved it to suit my fancy. I didn't understand that there was no magic in the city. As I grew up, I would learn that the true magic could be found in the forests. I am going to tell you that I think it's a load of decidedly deep animal droppings. Magic is everywhere. Magic is in everything. Magic creates our realities. If we'll recall my often chanted mantra: we create our own sphere of existence. By creating those personal spheres of existence, we are weaving the strands of magic. To quote my dearest friend Jim: 'Nuff said.

The Norse believed in the magic of the land. The land had spirits called 'wights'. Think about this: if a piece of land had power, why would changing what's on top of it change it? The spirit would still exist. That being said, being in a city wouldn't change that. A land wight should still exist. This of course means that working magic in the city is just as valid as romping through the woods. Quite frankly, how many pagans actually do that? It's one matter to say that it's the only way. You can put as many pro-pagan bumper stickers on your car as you want. You can put happy little 'witch stars' on your doors and say blessed be to everyone who will listen. It doesn't make you any more pagan. Pagan is what's in your heart. Magic is where ever you make it. City, forest and moon what have you. Magic is everywhere and it's ready to be reached by the hand that would guide it.

So what is the purpose of this posting? I'm very much interested in land wights right now. I'm also interested in reclaiming my roots. I've lived out of the city for 20 years. My goal is to remember what it feels like to talk to the land of the city. In essense I wish to remember who I was.

Cemetary Excursion

After a few months of a certain 'urge' to climb a certain set of steep stairs in the cemetary; I have done so. There is a cemetary that I grew up knowing was there. It's a substantial cemetary that is directly next to a second cemetary. From the road you can see the mausoleum and a graceful statue of an angel. The angel is near to the entrance. I think that's it's job is to protect the souls of dead. Not far from this angel, there is a partially obscured set of stairs. They are made of granite blocks and are set into the hillside. I felt the need to climb them. Literally. There was this pull with in me to do so. When I get these urges, I had best heed them. Sometimes I don't heed them and then it comes a point where something in the universe says to me "Told you so." I listened this time; and I climbed the stairs. At times I was almost literally face down on the ground climbing. The stairs were infinitely steep. I had thought to myself that this would be a fine place to die, as they'd only need to bury me where they found me. I'm hopelessly out of shape- an embarassment to the Heathen community lol.

Eventually I reached the top of the stairs. After regaining my air, I started to look around. The first place I looked I saw my family name. It turned out that the more I looked there, the more relatives I found of mine. Are the disir trying to tell me something? I'm unsure. I didn't really have as much time up there as I wanted. I only had a half hour. I moved past the stones of my family and looked around. It was perfect weather for staring at graves; which is to say it was raining. As I proceeded, I opened myself up psychically to the things that I could discover. Oddly enough, I had no takers. This is a first for me. So, I began to reach out and 'feel' the things around me. I felt a gentle pull in one direction and weaved around numerous large markers to get there. Suddenly I feel overwhelming sadness and the great need to sob. Literally I was sobbing in a cemetary. I figured if anyone came by, it certainly wouldn't look out of place and people wouldn't likely call the cops on me. Imagine explaining that one to the police "I felt the urge to come here and sob. I'm not really crazy..." I let that part of me open to it, while maintaining my sense of self. I felt the need to move forward again. Not ten feet from me was the grave of a woman who had died just last month. She was 51. I stared at her stone and let the tears flow freely. I told her that I was sorry. My tears subsided and I moved away from her. Shortly afterward, I began to hear them. They were forever walking behind me. I began to feel a sense of presense. This was very exciting for me. It became clear to me that others seemed to want to be recognized. These leads me to the thought... A psychic acts as a beacon to things that are not of this plane and to the souls. Souls do not seem so responsive to merely acts of opening one's self to them. It seems as though they are attracted by strong and heartfelt emotions. I genuinely felt grief. It occurs to me that genuine joy could also be an attractive thing. It seems to me that it's all about recognition. They are recognizing more heavily the things they felt when they were in a shell. It's an electrical impulse, but it varies from just your standard psychic centers opening. This leads me to the conclusion that I really want to explore this more.

Walk-ins and Spiritual Healings

This is one of the topics I had threatened to talk about in my last posting here. I wanted to talk about healing. There are many different forms of healing. One is a physical healing. In a physical healing, you're taking something that is physically wrong with someone and making it's progress towards recovery quicker. I use to like doing simple things like removing infections. It takes very little effort on my part and the results are infinitely quicker. You can have a sense of accomplishment lol. The healing that I've been working with the most over the years isn't so much physical, as it's more astral/psychic. The body is surrounded by an energy field. It expands and contracts. It's feelings change on a regular basis. This energy field (for lack of a better term and to find something people recognize) is called an aura. The aura isn't generally seen by most people; however you can develop the ability to do so. Really the only thing you need to do is relax and just let yourself go all fuzzy. Don't even concentrate and you're likely to start seeing that everything has a surrounding energy field. Computers, mice, bookcases- they all have energy fields just like us. It's make up is a little different, but it still exists. This of course leads me to the theory of manipulating your energy fields for entirely different reasons that I will not get into at the moment as it does not relate to what I'm saying at this time.

I digress- therefore I am. Let me continue.

My usual healings involve basically stepping into people. I won't even pretend that it's not invasive because it is. My energy field expands and blends with their energy field. Through this action I am able to get a better feeling of what's going on. It also allows me to remove and repair things. More often than not, an aura will have things either attached to it or wrong with it. I feel these issues in terms of color. For instance I will run my hands over someone and say "This feels an angry sort of red with blackish tinges." I am a synesthetic. Emotions and smells are colors to me. I feel emotions through my hands in color and I smell colors. If I relax I see waves of sound in color as well. In relation to music and to auras- for me it's best done in a room that is not brightly lit. The colors are not hugely 'vibrant'. They exist, but they are not resoundingly bright. While writing this, it gives me pause to wonder if I am a synesthetic because I am a healer or perhaps it's the other way around. I am unsure at this time.

I get sidetracked easily when writing. I was talking about things attached to people. Of all things, most of the stuff that is attached to an aura that damages it- is emotion. Emotion is an energy. It floats around. You know how if one person is having a really bad day you can tell even if they don't say anything? It fills the room like air. Emotions attach themselves. All sorts of energies attach themselves. This can also include entities. Entities are akin to emotions. They stick like glue and burrow into someone's field. Some people are more prone to this than others. I think it's because some people are more like beacons than others. These people are almost not worth trying to heal as they continuosly are picking up these stray emotions and energies.

Perhaps it's because there are some people that I can't help that I have grown to not be fond of healing. I can't cut out certain parts of the experience. Whether it's knowing something emotionally or seeing, smelling or feeling that someone/something is dying. The experience is a much creepier one than I have found I really enjoy. Can I stop being a healer? No I can't. Would I much prefer I wasn't? Yes. Like those people who are always picking things up, I can't change what I am.

Before I forget, I want to talk about walk-ins for just a moment. A walk-in is when a disembodied someone/something takes up residence in a living individual. The occurence of a real walk-in isn't very high I'm thinking. A walk-in doesn't push the person out of their own body, but seems to share it. Sometimes you get the old person, sometimes you get the new person. A walk-in can indeed be removed from a person. It's a matter of separating. However, once a walk-in recipient always a walk-in recipient. You can separate 'til the cows come home. Sometimes walk-ins aren't an issue. The entity involved doesn't always have to be bad. They can be helpful and useful. However, this isn't always the case. Sometimes the entity is horrid and more dominating. I can find it in myself to feel sorry for these people. There are however things that they can do to keep these things out. Shielding is the best defense against these 'strays'. Taking the steps to do it falls into their court. There is only so much I can do for them. When you inform them and they still let it happen, I cease to feel sorry for them. As I've said, I've done what I could do and it's up to you to keep yourself in good stead.

I believe that covers some of my thoughts.

The Wonders of Healing

Among the many things that I am; I am a healer. From a young age I showed particular potential for the ability. I could make muscle pains go away and I could take away small infections in cuts. As time went on, the ability grew better. Eventually I ended up becoming a Reiki master so that I could find another way to channel energy and not get so tired. Before Reiki, I would use my own energy. I would pull the energy from the inside of me and transfer it to the individual I was helping. This would leave me extremely tired and lethargic for days. It was theorized that this was potentially going to cause me a lot of harm at some point. Honestly I didn't want to become a Reiki master. I did it because my friends and family were concerned for me. Once in a while I listen. Reiki takes energy from the outside, uses you as a conduit and sends it to the recipient. You are not draining yourself in the process. It proved helpful to me. Being the person I am (always questioning,) I couldn't just stay with one thing. For me, the entire concept of Reiki didn't fully click into place. This is not to say that I don't understand it. I understand it, I just merely don't agree with everything and have chosen to add my own things to it. Inadvertantly my practices became that of the Shaman. Shaman is a term I have a hard time using. Back in 1999, everyone was using the term. Some of the people using the term were as shamanic as a dirty sock. Often times they were merely using the term to come across as 'hip'. Like everything used in popularity, there's always someone to give it a bad name. Perhaps at some point I will further elaborate on shamanic practices.

I don't enjoy being a healer. In fact I've quite grown to hate being one. You can't choose what you are. You're a healer or you're not. I don't know what it's like to become a practicioner of Reiki when you haven't displayed any talents at the art of healing. Can you learn to be a conduit for this energy? I think you can. When I say that you're a healer or you're not, I talk about it in the natural sense. I was born this way and had to learn another way to channel it. Huge amounts of people aren't going to fall into my footsteps. Why do I hate being a healer? With it comes the ability to diagnose things. At first I use to just have to touch things to know what was wrong. As time went on, I could see it. Then I could smell it. I began predicting death. When I would touch people or animals, they would feel like piles of bones with clothing or fur on them. They might not be thin either. Shortly after, they would die. Then came the point where I could smell carrion on the air. The entire house filled up with the smell one day, just hours before one of our rabbits simply died. I would see people and see them drawn and looking... well... it's hard to describe. In the end when I can't find a proper description, I will tell you that I found all this stuff completely horrifying. I can't escape it. I truly don't enjoy it. I know that a lot of people talk about the joys of healing people. Lots of books have been written on the subject. How many of these people have gotten to view healing like I have? I don't suppose I'm the only one.

As well as shamanism, I think I will talk a little bit more about healing. Perhaps from the less 'grim' perspective lol.

The Moon

The Moon is the tarot card I drew today. This card isn't as familiar to me as some cards are as I have rarely come across it in my readings.
Bare with me while I stumble my way through, or sail my way through if the card is willing to speak to me today.
For the sake or remaining consistent, I will continue with the usage of The Original Rider Waite deck that I started with. The Moon is depicted in bright fullness with drops of dew raining down upon what appears to be a somewhat marshy area. There is water in the foreground with a crayfish crawling out of it, headed towards the land. In the mid ground of the card stand what appears to be a wolf and a dog. Both are howling at the moon. In the rear of the card stand two towers, one on either side of the card. They are featureless except for a single window. No doors are visible.Just beyond the towers are some hills or low mountains. Stretching from the waters edge and extending into invisibility is a path. It disappears over the hills/mts.
It has been felt by some that the reflected light of the sun that the moon shines out is special and that it provides nourishment for plants and animals, along with the evening dew that falls. I do not have an opinion on this so I am going to drop that part there and move on.
As I look at the Moon card, it imparts to me a feeling of confusion. It gives me more questions than answers. The moon has a face in it. I would suppose it is a female face though that is not obvious. The face is tilted down but the eyes are not open. What can be seen of the face implies that it is frowning down upon the scene below. Is this card calling for us to rise out of the mire and follow the path that travels between chaos and sanity? Possibly if you consider that life supposedly originated in the ocean/water. The crayfish could represent the emergence. The wolf and the dog could be sanity and chaos. The whole card on some level speaks of dream time and choices to be made. I think the towers represent inaccessibility to our own inner thoughts during waking hours,as in the conscious and subconscious mind. The towers have no access but for one very tiny window up high. The windows offer hope of a chance to enter our deepest thoughts and find the answers we seek. The path clearly leads away from the current chaos but it is unsure where the path ends. It does however rises up, perhaps indicating a need for us to rise up to our higher selves.
Please keep in mind that card interpretation is very personal to the person doing it. The Moon may tell an entirely different tale to you.

Choosing The Runes

"I didn't choose the runes, the runes chose me."

This is something I have come to realize over the years. I can't speak for everyone else, however I have found that more often than not we are 'chosen'. Well... that's all very vague and mysterious sounding. Let me get to the point. Whether it's I Ching, the Runes or Tarot we are chosen by our tools. There is one voice that speaks clearly to our hearts and minds. It calls us, and hopefully we answer. I was chosen by the Runes. I can read the Tarot, but it has never spoken to me as the Runes do. With my Mother, it's the exact opposite.

The Runes make themselves known to me in every day life. They've gone beyond a 'simple' divination tool. They have become my life. The Runes are my triumphs and my sorrows. I am destined to live out the Elder Futhark. Honestly I didn't know this would happen. I knew at 13 that I must possess the Runes, no matter how many times I got yelled at. You see, at age 13 (circa. 1992) a set of Runes had been brought into the house by my Mother. She thought they were interesting, and had never seen any before. I didn't really know or understand the concept of being naturally drawn to them. The only thing I knew was that I always felt the need to steal them from her. I would spend hours and hours conversing with them. I would hold them and listen to the sounds as they shifted in my hands. At 30, I can tell you that I was drawn to them. I risked being yelled at every time I took them. In the end, it was worth it. I suspect that at times I have a touch of Loki in my system; but that's another story.

Previously I mentioned that the Runes made themselves known to me in every day life. I wish to elaborate further. I'll skip ahead in my life story to the year 1999. The place was a chat server running the Spiritualitea chatrooms. In 1999 I met Sandra Posey (the web mistress.) One thing led to another and I was given a book to review. Actually it wasn't just a book, it was also a card set. I was asked to make comparisons, but I had no basis. To review, I had to research. The set was Silver Ravenwolf's "The Witche's Runes". By this time, I had been communing with the Runes for seven years. I use the term 'communing' because my better understanding and research hadn't started yet. I was told to make comparisons to traditional experts on the subject (people like Edred Thorsson and Freya Aswynn.) I needed to research. I was lucky actually, fate delivered the proper books to my eager little paws. I now could take things in a different direction. In the end it was Sandra's review work that caused me to take the next step with the Runes. They had chosen their time and I was going to listen damnit! In the year that followed, I met Odin and Tyr. I saw Runes in road salt. The Runes were speaking loudly to me. How could I not listen? Eventually I became a member of the Rune Gild (the organization run by Edred Thorsson.) My life became one big study session.The Runes are often obscure, but fail to be subtle. They will allow you to beat youself in the head until you get the message. They are merciless and often do not have much patience. Perhaps that's why they call to me? Who knows?

I began living out the lessons of the Runes in 2004 when I joined the Rune Gild. My awareness of the Runes changed upon reading Edred Thorsson's literature that he had sent to the Gild members. Like everyone's word; I took it with a grain of salt. He did however say things that made me think. In thinking, I started to 'become'. I would live out the Runes. Anyone who knows about the Runes will know this is both a blessing and a curse. I have seen the birth of inspiration to the violent destruction of my old ways. I would have preferred visions; thank you kindly. The Gods are funny that way. Despite all the highs and lows I really can't complain. The Runes are showing me things more than ever. I willingly make sacrifices for this knowledge. It is my path. These lessons are not for the faint of heart. Each one is a test that I feel I must pass. In the end, I will hopefully be stronger and perhaps a bit wiser. I will have to be, because learning is a life long endeavor. It's for this reason that the Runes have become my life. They define me, motivate me and encourage me along my spiritual path. They teach me strength, courage, wisdom and most important: humility. A warrior can be all those things, and that's what I choose to be.

So I Begin

I have decided to review one major arcana card a day chosen at random. When I am done with the major arcana, I will move on to the court cards.The first card I drew was of no surprise to me. It is the card that is the teacher for this year of my life, The Hermit.Lately the Hermit is everywhere I go, there is no escaping the lessons to be learned. It is up to me to figure out what these lessons are.For the sake of ease, I am using a Waite deck as most people are somewhat familiar with this deck. The Hermit is an elderly man with a long white beard and a gray cloak. He is hooded but his face remains in view. His face is at ease. He is not hiding from anyone or anything. He is perched on the top of a snow covered mountain. The background is the void. Nothing is visible beyond the light of the star filled lantern he is carrying in his hand. The other hand holds a staff to help him in his travels.The Hermit can be looked upon as a teacher as well as a seeker. The lantern holds a star. As I see it, the star represents wishes fulfilled as in wishing upon a star. The Hermit shines the light from the top of the mountain as a beacon of fulfillment and knowledge. He shows the path for others to join him in his travels.The Hermit is also alone and this represents the need to seek from within that which is needed for the spiritual self to grow and mature. There are no questions that the answer does not exists from within. That is our connection to the cosmos. All are one on the nonphysical planes.That is all I have to say today about the Hermit. It is a great card of change, mastery and spirituality.My interpretation of all tarot cards is intuitive. It is not to be found in a book, at least not in the whole. The tarot is a very personal thing. It speaks in different ways to each person, not unlike the Runes.
Posted by The Hermit 18 at 10:59 AM 0 comments