The Wonders of Healing

Among the many things that I am; I am a healer. From a young age I showed particular potential for the ability. I could make muscle pains go away and I could take away small infections in cuts. As time went on, the ability grew better. Eventually I ended up becoming a Reiki master so that I could find another way to channel energy and not get so tired. Before Reiki, I would use my own energy. I would pull the energy from the inside of me and transfer it to the individual I was helping. This would leave me extremely tired and lethargic for days. It was theorized that this was potentially going to cause me a lot of harm at some point. Honestly I didn't want to become a Reiki master. I did it because my friends and family were concerned for me. Once in a while I listen. Reiki takes energy from the outside, uses you as a conduit and sends it to the recipient. You are not draining yourself in the process. It proved helpful to me. Being the person I am (always questioning,) I couldn't just stay with one thing. For me, the entire concept of Reiki didn't fully click into place. This is not to say that I don't understand it. I understand it, I just merely don't agree with everything and have chosen to add my own things to it. Inadvertantly my practices became that of the Shaman. Shaman is a term I have a hard time using. Back in 1999, everyone was using the term. Some of the people using the term were as shamanic as a dirty sock. Often times they were merely using the term to come across as 'hip'. Like everything used in popularity, there's always someone to give it a bad name. Perhaps at some point I will further elaborate on shamanic practices.

I don't enjoy being a healer. In fact I've quite grown to hate being one. You can't choose what you are. You're a healer or you're not. I don't know what it's like to become a practicioner of Reiki when you haven't displayed any talents at the art of healing. Can you learn to be a conduit for this energy? I think you can. When I say that you're a healer or you're not, I talk about it in the natural sense. I was born this way and had to learn another way to channel it. Huge amounts of people aren't going to fall into my footsteps. Why do I hate being a healer? With it comes the ability to diagnose things. At first I use to just have to touch things to know what was wrong. As time went on, I could see it. Then I could smell it. I began predicting death. When I would touch people or animals, they would feel like piles of bones with clothing or fur on them. They might not be thin either. Shortly after, they would die. Then came the point where I could smell carrion on the air. The entire house filled up with the smell one day, just hours before one of our rabbits simply died. I would see people and see them drawn and looking... well... it's hard to describe. In the end when I can't find a proper description, I will tell you that I found all this stuff completely horrifying. I can't escape it. I truly don't enjoy it. I know that a lot of people talk about the joys of healing people. Lots of books have been written on the subject. How many of these people have gotten to view healing like I have? I don't suppose I'm the only one.

As well as shamanism, I think I will talk a little bit more about healing. Perhaps from the less 'grim' perspective lol.